Wednesday, Aug 19, 2020, 9:02 am

By:Tony Williams

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1.A forced kiss

Ahh there is nothing like a forced kiss that can help you show somebody that you love them. She does not look that comfortable with it all and can you blame her? At least he combed his hair before he tried to grope her.

2.What nice nuts

A squirrel is a strange animal to have on this kind of card, but to then make that reference to nuts is just taking things to a completely different level. There is a pretty good chance that this card would not be allowed today or else it would certainly not sell well either.

3.Have a shave

This is creepy in that it seems to suggest that shaving is going to get you your Valentine. Surely the person that got this would have looked at it completely confused as to what to do next?

4.Ashes are romantic?

This was actually a Valentine's day card, but for some reason it decided that ashes were, in some way, romantic. The people that designed this card must have been having one crazy day if they were then happy with it.

5.Aim a gun at her

At what point does it become all romantic to be aiming a gun at somebody? He is apparently going hunting for her, but surely there is a nicer way of doing it than this?

6.Is this even real?

There is so much wrong with this card that you really do not know where to begin. Why does a card that is all about romance have a woman with a cow on it? Is there something about romance that we do not know about?

7.Is a lamb wise?

This is not the nicest looking lamb in the world and there is just no way that it should be on a valentine's day card. Ok they are doing a play on words, but even that is pretty bad and is not worth putting on a card.

8.Here's a cow

What would your partner think if you handed them a card with a cow on it? The chances are it would not go down too well and can you blame them for being upset about it? A cow is not exactly the most romantic of animals is it?

9.This is just too scary

There is no doubt that this is just far too scary for its own good and there is not one single bit of romance in this card at all. Instead, those eyes are just far too freaky and it is no wonder she is hiding behind a wall.

10.Are they hitting each other?

The big question here is whether or not they are indeed hitting one another and if so what are they trying to say? Are they trying to argue that nothing says will you be my valentine more than clubbing the other person over the head?

11.A gun always works

There is no doubt that a smoking gun always works when it comes to this time of year, but surely it comes across as being a bit threatening? How can something involving a gun ever be romantic in any way whatsoever?

12.In a cauldron?

Why on earth would you want to send a Valentines day card that showed the girl of your dreams being cooked alive in a cauldron? Is there any point where that tells them that you love them? What kind of message is it trying to put across?

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