Thursday, Aug 20, 2020, 2:53 pm

By:Tony Williams

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1.Ronald The Attacker

Ronald doesn't like people who don't eat his burgers and fries, and he will attack you if you try to leave. It makes sense that he would want to hold people hostage due to the quality of the food in his fast food restaurant. He will go to any lengths to keep you there, even offer you toys.

2.Homeless Ronald

If things keep going the same way for McDonald's, Ronald may really end up homeless. Losing their lawsuit about the use of pink slime in their burgers, and the meat being washed in ammonia, they are under scrutiny. The happy clown might have his frown turned upside down, if they don't get their act together.

3.Buff Ronald

He hides it under that baggy yellow suit, but Ronald hits the gym and eats anywhere but McDonald's, to keep fit. If you think about it, have you ever seen him eating a Big Mac and large fry with a milkshake? I think not. This clown knows better and we all should take a cue.

4.Hungover Ronald

Everyone has had this experience at one time or another, even the innocent seeming clown, Ronald McDonald. With his head in the porcelain urinal, Ronald must have had too many spiked milkshakes the night before. But if you spent your life in McDonald's would you indulge every once in a while?

5.Big Feet, Big _ _ _

You know what they say about big feet. Well, we all know that Ronald is loved by children, but maybe there is another reason he is loved by women, but it seems the lovable clown is also a slave driver. Can't he shine his own bright red shoes. Is he too big for his arches?

6.He's Criminal

No one is immune from the law, not even the lovable clown, Ronald McDonald. Will they strip him of his yellow suit and large red shoes and require him to wear the orange jail suit? Will they have shoes to fit him? And what about his hair? These and more questions to be answered in our next issue.

7.Evil McDonald Man

We all believe that Ronald loves his fellow McDonald characters, but when the cameras are off he takes vengeance upon them. There are some kids who like these characters better than him, and he just can't have it. To the public he smiles, but inside he seethes, and goes after them any chance he gets.

8.Ronald The Joker

Here is a dark side to the lovable Ronald McDonald. Looking quite sinister and reminiscent of the Joker in Batman, we are afraid, very afraid, and maybe we should be with all the controversy surrounding McDonald's burgers these days. If you do eat there, beware of the deceptively crazy clown.

9.Killer Ronald

Ronald may look all sweet and kind, but behind the scenes, this Ronald McDonald eats elsewhere. A cannibal Ronald who dines on the flesh of people in the dark city streets. What would all the children say. They adore this yellow clown who represents burgers and fries with prizes and milkshakes.

10.Personal Happy Meal

Ronald McDonald seems to be giving this woman her own very personal happy meal. From the look on his face, he seems to be the one who is getting the happy ending. Hopefully no small children were around to witness this act, but just in case, moms should just tell their kids that woman was looking for the prize.

11.Naughty Ronald

Ronald McDonald is an icon to children everywhere, but when they and their parents are not looking he is just like any other guy ... girl crazy. It seems this Ronald McDonald is a breast man, preferring Chicken McNuggets over the Big Mac. But what about this woman? Does she like the Quarter Pounder?

12.Ladies Man

Ronald can be quite the Ladies man it appears. These three lovely Ladies seem to think he is all that and a bag of fries, especially the one kneeling down. She must really love the beef in McDonald's burgers. Either way, Ronald has his hands full with dollar menu babes.

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