Wednesday, Aug 26, 2020, 4:08 pm

By:James Fraser

An email puns are funny! Didn't you get that? Boy, you have to be a lot sharper than that to understand the punnery on this topic! We know a lot of you peeps enjoy reading puns. We are aware puns as rare as diamonds, and the chances are high that you may have read all the puns that exist in our world. We didn't take a trip to another galaxy to discover some extraterrestrial puns, but we plowed the internet deep to find some exceptional and incredibly fresh puns - animal puns! Now read the first sentence. Done doing that? Now check these 12 hilarious animal puns! 

1.Iguana Tap It, But I Have A Reptile Dysfunction

A lot of guys these days have reptile dysfunction as the earthworms in their pants refuse to metamorphose into King Cobras or Black Mambas! Oops, did we just say reptile dysfunction? What we meant to say was erectile dysfunction. We know projectile malfunction is a terrible health condition, and it's not a good thing to make fun of men with infertile midsection! Don't even try to poke fun at them even if they are UP to accepting your bland humor with a smiling face.

2.Look At All The Fox I Give

Back in those ancient days, a chicken said the same thing to humans - "Look at all the flying f*cks I give." Since then, chickens neither learned to fly nor lived happily in jungles. Primitive people made chickens their favorite meal. As of now, no one really cares about those poor flightless birds other than Rita, Lita, and a random Senorita from PETA! Hey Fox, you think humans don't eat your meat? What if we tell you Wal-Mart once sold fox meat to its Chinese customers?! CHECKMATE! 

3.Your Koalafications Are Completely Irrelephant

Koalas are adorable little animals, and as someone from the West, you are less likely to see one unless you are a frequenter to zoos. If you have plans to visit Australia soon, make time to see koalas and spend some quality time with them. Koalas are incredibly snuggly! Hugging them and cuddling with them is a relaxing and satisfying experience. You will be doing that, right? Now listen; more than 90% of koala population has Chlamydia, and that shouldn't stop you from hugging or kissing them. Those cutie pies need your love!  

4.That's The Sealiest Thing I Have Ever Heard

Seals swim in water and can hold their breath for up to two hours, and they aren't fish. They give birth and breastfeed their kids like animals, but they can't be called animals. Then, what are they? Science calls them semi-aquatic marine mammals. If you think that's one long and boring name, let's call seals "dog mermaids!" That sounds "sealy, " but if you look at seals carefully, you will agree with what we say. 

5.Stand Back, Or I'll Beat You With My Bear Hands

Can you dare fight this bear that is threatening to tear you apart with its bare hands?! Okay, bear hands. Bear hands or bare hands don't make any significant difference to the sentence, and that is what makes this animal pun an "extrawordinary" one! You now, the quality of a pun directly depends on the time one takes to understand it. If it takes forever to catch a play on words, perhaps it is an unbearable pun! 

6.If You Can Think Of A Better Pun, Let Minnow

Now, this is what we call a challenge! Hey, can you think of a better fish pun and let the badass minnow know about it? Wait a minute; we will do that! We don't want "salmon else" to make fish puns here! Okay, here's the pun. Oh god, where has this minnow gone? We "bait" some fisherman guy might have snatched it to catch a big fish. End of the story. Scroll down to check another animal pun. What, you want to hear that better pun? "Water" you going to do after "herring" that pun, anyway? Move on! 

7.An Adventure? Alpaca My Bags!

We know you love puns, and we made sure this topic was "alpacced" with a brilliant play on words! Here's one more animal pun for you that we hope you will find hilarious. Alpacas are interesting creatures. They are friendly animals, but some of those furry animals can be dangerously aggressive. Don’t f*ck with alpacas, as they are highly capable of ending the world with an "alpacacalypse!"

8.I Could Gopher A Beer

Gophers are rat-like creatures that are endemic to North and Central America. Their name sounds synonymous with "go for." This rodent gives you endless possibilities to create puns. You can create your gopher pun. "Gopher" it, you can do it! Gopher a beer, gopher a girl, gopher a pizza, and gopher anything you want, but don't gopher a gopher and bring one home because those nocturnal rodents are known for carrying rabies and monkeypox. Yep, monkeypox!

9.This One Or The Otter One

Both baby otters look "otterly" beautiful, aren't they?! You might have seen Facebook posts about the cute behavior of otters that they hold hands while sleeping, so they don't drift apart. Well, that is true and genuinely sounds cute, but these otters are some of the biggest jerks in the animal kingdom. They rape and kill baby seals to satisfy their sexual urge. They keep corpses of dead baby seals for up to one week and continue violating them even after their death. That's their nature though, we can't complain! 

10.You Are Whalecum Son!

Whale, whale, whale, this is a hilarious pun! The whale dad in the meme is just trying to be funny! There's no way his son can come from his penis just like how it is impossible for a human child to come for their dad's penis! Whales are aquatic mammals, meaning they don't lay eggs. Female whales give live birth to their babies, and they even breastfeed them. We hope we gave you some useful information, and if you are thinking to thank us for that, don't do that! We are gonna say "You're whalecum" in return!

11.Sometimes It's Like She Doesn't Carrot All

It seems someone told her only female humans could become Playboy bunnies! She looks as if she was devastated by the revelation. The way she was looking out that door tells us how badly she wanted to be at Playboy Mansion. Oh god, someone needs to tell her she can't find carrots at all at Playboy Mansion, and all she can find there is a colonel blimp who has been sucking souls of young women via their "pink pits" for decades, to achieve immortality!

12.Animal Puns Quack Me Up!

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