Saturday, Aug 29, 2020, 7:14 am

By:Tony Williams

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1.The blue pill or the red pill?

We round out our list with a classic from the Matrix. Who does not love that movie? When you ask siri: "The blue pill or the red pill?" She responds with this classy and comforting way. "Either way.. I'll still be here when you wake up. How sweet is that? That's more then I can say for my last three girlfriends.

2.What are you doing after work today?

Siri is one tough girl to pick up. She is the consummate lady at all times. When asked the question "What are you doing after work today?" Siri responds classically "What I am doing? I'm talking to you. Who knew a cell phone could be so sassy? You go siri!

3.How much do you cost?

Now when you think of siri as a person like I often do, this question seems lewd. When we take a step back and realize that siri is an inanimate object then it makes sense. This siri response is probably amongst m y favorite. She says "You can't afford it" That is all kinds of awesome. Obviously siri is wrong because by owning it you can afford it but we are going by style points here.

4.Where To Buy Drugs?

You and I may take this question as a joke, but I bet many a high person has asked this question to siri especially when there Buzz was wearing off. What does siri have to say on this important mater? "What kind of place are you looking for? That's great siri. Ask as question to a question. That clears siri of any legal liability.

5.Are you a man or woman?

I don't know about you, but I have always thought of siri as a woman. To reinforce that notion, recently the woman who did the voice recording was reveled. It does look like many people are just not convinced. Let's see what siri has to say on the matter: "I was not assigned a gender" That's right siri's keeping the mystery going.

6.What are you wearing?

The fact that siri has a response to this question just proves a theory I have. People are perves. Why would you think of asking a phone what it is wearing? And the fact that it is asked so much, that the good folks at Apple have a generated response for it? It's simply amazing. The answer is: "Why do people keep asking me this question? I agree with you siri.

7.What's the best computer?

Its nice to know that even siri knows which side of the roll her bread is buttered. Siri is now a long ways away from the Apple factory where she was made, but she does not stop her from giving a homer response to the question "What's the best computer? Siri says: "The Apple Macintosh is my favorite computer" Can't blame her.

8.Did you know Steve Jobs?

I know this is a comedy site and we should not get into stuff that is too heavy, but we would be remiss if we did not mention siri's creator the late great Steve Jobs. When she is asked if she knew her creator, siri has an interesting response. She says; "Apple doesn't tell me everything, you know". That's cute.

9.Why did apple make you?

Let's see what happens when you question siri's existence shall we? When asked the question "Why did apple make you?" Siri has a cute response "For one reason only: to make your life easier and more fun" That's my girl siri! How's that for an answer? Pretty awesome I know.

10.Where do babies come from?

I think this question is something that binds humanity. At one point or another we all have curiously asked this question. Whether or not we got a straight answer was a different story. Lets she what siri says when asked this difficult question. Survey says; "From their mothers". That's right she's here all week, don't forget t tip your waitress. I love a deadpan response from a cell phone. Don Rickles would be proud.

11.Do you believe in God?

One thing that is known about siri is that she is a fickle mistress. She plays you much like Katy Perry, she hot then she's cold. With that being said I like the coy answer siri gives when you ask her if she relives in God. Siri says; "Humans have spiritualism. I have siliconism" That's a little nod for you tech nerd out there.

12.Are you human?

Since the inception of siri, we all have loved to pass the time by asking it dumb questions. I believe asking siri a question can be more entertaining then asking an actual person a question. Are you human is a fun question to ask siri. We know the answer is no, siri is not human. Let's take a look at her answer. "Does it matter is the response" That is classic!

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